Running the Treadmill of Emptiness

I feel as if my life has been really empty and meaningless over the past 3 months.

Each week is spent doing the work of 2 full-time workers. Do people there see I'm at least trying my best and doing what I can to keep this boat afloat? This was not meant to be a long-term thing but as 3 months have gone by without any answers, I just cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Outside of work there is also uncertainty and many unanswered questions. Another tunnel that I cannot see the end of.

A number of thoughts have crossed my mind of late:

- Whether the indecisiveness of some will make others look bad or be frowned upon?
- Why do some people make promises that they clearly cannot keep?
- How can your life be so hectic and busy that every single day for the last 6 months is spent in back-to-back engagements, so the only time you have to breath is a 5 minute toilet break or transport to the next appointment?
- Am I the cause of this uncertainty, by hanging on to something that clearly is not meant to be?
- People say that they won't let things happen the way they did again, but then it happens all over again.

I need your prayers, I need answers, I need people to make some really big decisions soon, otherwise I will probably lose my mind.

One thing I am certain about, is that I honestly don't understand what it truly means to be busy.

If you think that your life is busy then think again. I thought my life was, but now I don't think so.

You don't have time to attend that important meeting. But you can find time to catch up with a friend at the last minute for a coffee.

You don't have time help someone who is lonely and in need of your friendship. But you can somehow find time to spend with your partner who you see everyday.

How many nights every week do you spend at home?

Is Sunday your most busiest day of the week?

My ramblings for the week.